Monthly Archives: December 2012

Peace Between Holidays

That’s not to say our time was completely peaceful, but I was able to allow the “explosion” to happen and keep my distance, stay in the moment and not get pulled in.  As I’ve often said, “you can’t have a power struggle if both of you aren’t struggling.”

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I usually use these “days between” to renew my own energy.  This year, we flew to our son’s in Chicago on Christmas day. (Since my husband is a professional Santa, he worked through Christmas Eve).  It was a wonderful trip and we had a great time with our son, his girlfriend and our daughter and granddaughter.  Our entire family was together for a rare celebration.  But with a delayed flight on the way home – and very little sleep, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with everything I think I need to do in order to be prepared for my work week.

I have caught  up on mail, posting payments and paying bills.  My husband has handled the wash – and once we sort through all the toys that need to find a new home, I’m ready to enjoy the peace and quiet of coming back to a routine that provides safety and order to life. What doesn’t get done, doesn’t get done.  It’s another exercise in living in the moment.

Getting Through the Holidays

Today’s blog is courtesy of Melody Beattie from THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO.

Sometimes the holidays are filled with the joy we associate with that time of year. The season flows. Magic is in the air.

Sometimes the holidays can be difficult and lonely.

Here are some ideas I’ve learned through personal experience and practice, to help us get through difficult holidays.

Deal with feelings, but try not to dwell unduly on them. Put the holidays in perspective: A holiday is one day out of 365. We can get through any 24-hour period.

Get through the day, but be aware that there may be a post-holiday backlash. Sometimes, if we use our survival behaviors to get through the day, the feelings will catch up to us the next day. Deal with them too. Get back on track as quickly as possible.

Find and cherish the love that’s available, even if it’s not exactly what we want. Is there someone we can give love to and receive love from? Recovering friends? Is there a family who would enjoy sharing their holiday with us? Don’t be a martyr; go. There may be those who would appreciate our offer to share our day with them.

We are not in the minority if we find ourselves experiencing a less-than-ideal holiday. How easy, but untrue, to tell ourselves the rest of the world is experiencing the perfect holiday, and we’re alone in conflict.

We can create our own holiday agenda. Buy yourself a present. Find someone to whom you can give. Unleash your loving, nurturing self and give in to the holiday spirit.

Maybe past holidays haven’t been terrific. Maybe this year wasn’t terrific. But next year can be better, and the next a little better. Work toward a better life – one that meets your needs. Before long, you’ll have it.

God, help me enjoy and cherish this holiday. If my situation is less than ideal, help me take what’s good and let go of the rest.

Remember Your Choices During the Holidays

If you find yourself getting more stressed as the season continues, here are a few things to keep in mind.

CHOOSE to stay in the present rather than dwelling on past experiences and traditions that place high expectations on you and others.

CHOOSE to keep a sense of humor about it all.

CHOOSE to take a break occasionally and do something different — like taking a walk, deep breathing, or calling a friend who will understand and not judge you.

CHOOSE to avoid major life changes during the holidays. If at all possible, this is not a good time to move, change jobs, or begin or end relationships.

CHOOSE to keep a running list of Gratitudes — helps the attitude. There is much to be said about counting your blessings rather than stewing in your sorrows.

CHOOSE to start a new tradition this year. If your family isn’t healthy for you to be around, find something else to do that you enjoy — sleep in, take a short trip, read that book you haven’t been able to find time to get to — or just spend time with someone you enjoy being around. A change of scenery can be especially helpful – fewer reminders of the negative past experiences. And if you go somewhere you’ve never been, you have to be more in the moment just to find your way around.

CHOOSE to take one day – hour – minute at a time. We can get through anything for a short period of time, easier than thinking in terms of “forever”.

CHOOSE to remember that we have choices in how we look at things.

Best Wishes for a great Holiday Season!!