Monthly Archives: May 2013

To Make Ourselves Complete

The phrase “human being” often gets lost on us.  Most of us are “human doings” – so wrapped up in accomplishing tasks or our To Do List.   Or we are obsessed with what situation or people might be in our future that will finally bring us happiness.  In this case, we are “human becomings”.  We believe we need to strive to become or that something or someone outside of us will make us more worth-while and lovable.  We’re caught in our heads – always trying to figure out what will make “it” happen for us.   We are SO obsessed with what we are meant to be that we totally miss out on what we are – beautiful, vibrant spiritual beings.

Below, Eckhart Tolle explains his perception of what I just described:

It’s almost a joke, how humans live – how they look for something where it can never be found. How they look for themselves – the completion of their sense of self. . .in the future – in some next moment.  And how compulsively they are driven to seek the next moment . . . how compulsively they ignore and even actively resist this moment.  (This moment is) the door that is always open.  Not realizing that future has no reality except as a thought in our heads.

One of the most wonderful discoveries I’ve made in my spiritual studies is that we are complete – we are perfect just the way we are.  We aren’t worth any more if we accomplished something we deem as extremely important today than we would be if we sat around and did nothing all day!  We are loved and adored just the same regardless!  (For a listmaker like me, that took some digesting, but now that I get it, I revel in it!)

The lesson in this for me is that it’s more important to stop obsessing about my list of To Do’s and to spend this moment with those I care about.  I’ll never get these moments back, but I can get the other stuff done eventually – or maybe it doesn’t HAVE to get done at all!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going out to blow bubbles with my granddaughter!  🙂

Never let a problem to be solved, become more important than a person to be loved.





It’s Only as Difficult as You Believe it is

This is a repost from last May.

I can’t count the number of times clients have said  – “but it’s so hard. . .”

Most of the time I don’t confront them with what I’m really thinking, because it’s taken a lot for them to get to the place where they finally at least recognize what they might need to do to make a change.

But what I’ve learned is that it’s only hard if I allow it to be.

For example, I love to work out and walk.  When I can, I walk around the neighborhood lake.  It’s a slightly hilly terrain, but I walk on a sidewalk, so it’s a pretty smooth path.

One day, several years ago, I met another woman walking in the opposite direction. As we smiled and exchanged “good mornings” she said, “I hate having to climb uphill here when I’m going your direction.”

I just smiled and went on. But I was surprised, because I had never even noticed that I was walking uphill. Suddenly, I noticed that indeed, I was climbing up an incline, and yes, it seemed difficult to navigate at that moment!

I have walked that path many times in the years since that encounter, and every time I remember that it’s uphill.  It’s amazing how just having your attention brought to something in a different way can make a difference in how you view it.

But, I didn’t let the new-found realization that I’m walking uphill bother me. I have always enjoyed the challenge of walking up an incline and gratefully focus on how good the muscles in my legs feel as they work to move my body.  I love the feeling I get after working my body in an intensive workout – it’s a feeling of accomplishment. Besides, once you get to the top of a hill, you’re either walking on a flat surface for a while, or you’re going downhill, which is so much easier – it’s almost exhilarating!

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

– Wayne Dyer

Seeds of Thought

Thoughts of anger attract more anger. Thoughts of goodness attract more goodness.

Thoughts of accomplishment enable you to see that accomplishment in every detail. And whatever you can see, you can find a way to be.

Thoughts of peace truly make you more peaceful. And that can lead those around you to carry peaceful thoughts as well.

Thoughts begin on the inside and quickly flow outward. The thoughts you hold in this moment will soon spread far beyond you.

The thoughts you send forth will eventually find their way back to you, yet by that time they will be much more than just thoughts Those thoughts will return as circumstances, objects, challenges, opportunities and achievements.

Your thoughts attract more of whatever you think, because life has a dependable way of multiplying and manifesting them. So choose to always hold the most positive, enriching thoughts, and from those seeds a beautiful garden will grow.

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant

– Robert Louis Stevenson

What Are You Still Carrying?

This is a repost from a couple of years ago.  It’s something I need to remind myself of regularly, so I thought I’d share it with you again:

In a discussion about his book A NEW EARTH, Eckhart Tolle tells a story that really struck me as a great illustration of something all of us do from time to time. Many of my clients are very good at it — hanging on to something from the past.

The story: Two monks were walking down a road in silence as they came upon a young woman who had been injured. One of the monks picked the woman up and carried her to help. Assured that she was in good hands, they continued their journey in silence. Several miles later, the other monk said, “Why did you pick up that woman? We’re not supposed to touch women.” The first monk simply said, “Are you still carrying her? I put her down miles ago.”

How many times have we carried someone or something from years ago? Our bodies & minds work together. Although the body is intelligent, it doesn’t know the difference between what’s really happening now and a thought. So if our thoughts keep dwelling on negative experiences or resentments towards others who have hurt us, then the body reacts to that as if it’s happening now and continues to feel the pain of the event. If we continually ask “why?” that’s a form of resistance, and the pain will remain. It often even develops into physical or emotional illnesses, or compulsive behaviors whose purpose is to continue to avoid feeling.

However, if we can just accept that this is a painful situation, allow ourselves to feel it and work through it, we will eventually be able to let it go.

Acceptance is the key, as the following excerpt from the Big Book of AA says so beautifully:

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.

Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.

I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

-Alcoholics Anonymous