I’ve always believed part of my role is to model how a healthy person manages daily life. None of us are perfect. We all have challenges. It’s how we face those that determines whether those challenges become problems or lessons learned.
So here is my confession to you for this week. I have been in a rut lately. I’ve been over-committed for some time, and I kept telling myself (and everyone else who asked me how I was doing it all) that all those responsibilities are things I’m passionate about, so that made it easier to manage.
However,in the past few weeks those commitments have taken over my life. I no longer was feeling like I was living my life. It was living me – and not very well. I seldom had the time I have always relied on for my daily “program” of working out physically, feeding my soul with uplifting audiobooks or podcasts and meditation. I was sleeping less, working continuously and complaining about it the whole time. I became easily agitated and didn’t even like myself much. Strike that. I didn’t like myself at all.
I kept saying “Next week I’ll get back to my routine.” But next week never came. So a couple of days ago, I just decided I was going to make that happen. I freed up one morning, made myself stop and meditate and was beginning to feel a little like someone I used to know. Then this weekend, because I had volunteered to help with a retreat at Awaken Whole Life Center, I was able to attend a couple of the sessions. The speaker was Suzanne Giesemann, Hayhouse author. Her presentations brought me back to what I’ve always known.
Our reality is limited only by where we put our focus. I know that we are each spiritual beings who have come to this life to experience it fully – good, bad and everything in between. We signed up for those hard times that we pray will not happen. Those are the lessons that help us reach our next level of development.
We are here to be human beings, but we were spiritual beings first. This past few weeks, I was keeping my focus on the daily “To Do” list, and on attempting to control everything and everyone around me. If we live that way, life will always be a search for more. But if we take a few moments throughout the day to remind ourselves that who we really are reaches far beyond the satisfaction we get from accomplishing human tasks, we can know real joy. I won’t promise we’ll be happy all the time. We’re not supposed to be. I think life is really supposed to be like a wild ride on a roller coaster – sitting in the front with our hands in the air – not even holding on. Only when we have faced and conquered fear can we truly appreciate how wonderful and exciting life can be.
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to live the life that is waiting for us.
~ EM Forster