It’s my belief that we are here on earth to have experiences that help us evolve. The majority of those experiences are through our relationships. So if we feel stuck or victimized in some or all of our relationships, we have to look at ourselves to understand why. We’ve all heard “no one else can MAKE you angry.” And I think most of us would agree with that intellectually. But do we really understand it?
When we are angry about someone else’s behavior or feel their actions have caused us pain in some way, we are not really taking responsibility for our own feelings. We are allowing other people, and events to dictate our environment. Some would argue that we have a right to feel whatever we feel. I agree. Just be sure that while you’re feeling, acknowledge it as a choice you’re making.
Our emotions are not what our experiences generate, they are what generate our experiences (Neale Donald Walsh). Our emotions are chosen. We decide to feel a certain way about something or someone, based on our perspective about ourselves and our connection to that other thing or person. Our perspective creates our perceptions, which in turn lead to our feelings.
This might be a bit confusing if this is the first time you’ve considered this angle to your life. But if you ask yourself, “what is another way I can look at this situation?” and you’re truly able to come up with an alternative perception, you can follow the process through and see how you are making the decisions at every step.
For me, when I can look at life this way, it eliminates the victim mindset that someone is doing something to me. It gives me freedom to feel, and more importantly BE what I want. And what I want is to be free.