Life is a Choice

It’s my belief that we are here on earth to have experiences that help us evolve.  The majority of those experiences are through our relationships.  So if we feel stuck or victimized in some or all of our relationships, we have to look at ourselves to understand why.   We’ve all heard “no one else can MAKE you angry.”  And I think most of us would agree with that intellectually.  But do we really understand it?

When we are angry about someone else’s behavior or feel their actions have caused us pain in some way, we are not really taking responsibility for our own feelings.  We are allowing other people, and events to dictate our environment.  Some would argue that we have a right to feel whatever we feel.  I agree.  Just be sure that while you’re feeling, acknowledge it as a choice you’re making.

Our emotions are not what our experiences generate, they are what generate our experiences (Neale Donald Walsh).   Our emotions are chosen.  We decide to feel a certain way about something or someone, based on our perspective about ourselves and our connection to that other thing or person (or what we believe to be true).  Our perspective creates our perceptions, which in turn lead to our feelings.

Beliefs are not innate. They are based on thoughts that come from our environment – our parents, our church, our education, our friends, and the things that have happened to us over years.  The thoughts we feed are the ones that gain weight and eventually become our beliefs.

What is innate, is that which we “know.”  I’m not speaking of the knowledge we gain through our education over the years.  (As I said above, that is information that helps to form our belief system).  This kind of “knowing” is that “aha moment” when we read or hear something that resonates to our souls.  It’s a feeling that “I’ve always known this.”  Sometimes we didn’t even realize we’ve “known” it; sometimes it’s been swimming around under the surface for a long time, but since it might be slightly different from the concepts that others around us articulate; we’ve never really formulated the concept fully.

This might be a bit confusing if this is the first time you’ve considered this angle to your life.  But if you ask yourself, “what is another way I can look at this situation?” and you’re truly able to come up with an alternative perception, you can follow the process through and see how you are making the decisions at every step.

For me, when I can look at life this way, it eliminates the victim mindset that someone is doing something to me. All the minutia that wasn’t what I had planned, and that I think is screwing up my life, is just the weeds I know I have to wade through to get to the garden on the other side.

It gives me freedom to feel, and more importantly BE what I choose, based on the lessons I’ve learned on that trek through the weeds.  And what I choose is to be free of the constraints put on me by all the “supposed to’s” in this world.