Our New Reality

This blog is not about politics.  It’s about humanity.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016 was probably the most intense and difficult day I’ve had as a therapist.

For the past several months, as the presidential race heated up, I consistently had several sessions a week where clients expressed fear and anxiety about what would happen if Trump won. I do a lot of trauma and grief work. Some of my female clients were being re-traumatized by his misogyny and his sexually explicit language; some feared his far reach into business deals in other countries and the fact that he had given a voice to white supremacists – both of which could jeopardize our country’s security and frankly threaten our democratic way of life.

Other clients (some who had been bullied themselves) were upset by his hateful mocking attitude and what it teaches our children when a man running for President behaved in ways that a 1st grader cannot get away with.  And then there were my LGBTQ clients who were both re-traumatized and fearful of losing the few rights and benefits they have finally managed to gain recently – mostly because of Mike Pence’s history with the mindset and laws he has championed.

On November 9, two of my clients were parents of adult children who have recently met violent deaths.  When people are already struggling with such a trauma, they’re constantly re-living the pain of the incident, and basically live in fear because the unimaginable worst has already happened.  They are more sensitive to everything – especially any violence – behavior or words.   The damage reaches very deep.

(I want to add here, that a few clients did express frustration with Hillary, but it never rose to the level of having to deal with traumatic issues in therapy).

But all of the above are human concerns. As I always do, I want to emphasize that what I’m about to say is my belief, and that I am not trying to make anyone change their belief system.  I simply want you to think outside the box a little here.

From a spiritual perspective, I believe we all come from the same place.  While we are formless in the spiritual realm, the forms we take on in this realm are various sizes, shapes, and colors, so we look and sound different. But inside we are all the same.  That formless part of us is a piece of that place – nothing but beautiful, loving energy – regardless of our personalities, beliefs, religions, lifestyles, countries of origin, color of skin, etc in this dimension.  Some call that a soul, spirit, piece of God – again, the semantics may be different, but it’s all the same.

And we each come with a sense of purpose that usually involves a certain set of lessons we need to tackle. Those have to do with our own spiritual development, and in turn, can help the Universe evolve energetically. Those who make enough noise to get the attention of an entire country or the world are probably doing so on purpose.  They may be conscious of things they want to accomplish in society, but their human minds are not typically conscious of this deeper aspiration.  The soul holds the knowledge. The human mind’s purpose is to experience what we call reality.

It’s pretty clear what humans like Jesus, Buddha or Gandhi (to name just a few) came to do.  They each focused on love, non-violence, freedom, etc.  But often the purpose looks like the exact opposite of what the soul intends.  Someone like Donald Trump, Hitler, terrorists and others who cause upset or pain to their fellow humans by the things they say or do might become a force that changes civilization in some way.  From the human perspective they may be here for the advancement of civil rights or for their own selfish advancement, or some other reason we don’t understand.  BUT, if it causes enough grief and distress for enough people, it may very well be the opportunity we need to eventually move the energy of the Universe forward in a more benevolent way. This is because those who believe in love, unity and equality for all, might become motivated to work even harder to ensure those values are upheld.

To make you think outside the box for a minute, perhaps that is the original spiritual goal of Donald Trump.

Just the fact that since he declared his candidacy, the issues that have become so highly charged are now out there in the open and we have increased the conversation about all of those topics.  Yes, there have been a LOT of arguments in person and on social media, physical attacks at rallies and protesting on the streets, people losing friends over their political disagreements, etc. And yes, many people are dug in and will not listen to the other side.  It’s generally been miserable for all of us.  But at least we’re talking about some of these things!  These issues have always been there, and there’s always been pain around them.  But for a long time they’ve been more covert – at least for straight, white, able-bodied Americans.  Now that they’re out in the open again, it gives us the opportunity to possibly DO SOMETHING to correct them.  Don’t misunderstand, we’re talking a long-term process for all of civilization.  In the next several years, I’m sure it will be painful for all of us!  But, if we let this be an opportunity, rather than an obstacle, it could eventually put us on the path towards understanding and eventually making changes.  If we’re talking AND listening to each other, incrementally we can continue to make the changes that will empower ALL citizens.

I do have to admit that I have a lot of fear about the future, but fear doesn’t serve us if we stay there. PLEASE, let’s not quit talking about these things.  We need to tone it down some and be a little more rational, but we can’t quit talking.  And listening.  We have to be willing to hear the other side.  I don’t want to consider the alternative.

I send you each love and peace as we all navigate this next stage in our country’s development.  Like it or not, we’re all in this together.  There is no “other”. There is only US.